Acro by Joe

Post unrelated to ACROYOGA

I believe all of us hold onto traumas. Some of us have big ones that affect us in a strong way, some less. Most of these traumas occurred when we were young little chickens, and they stay with us unless we do something about it.

For many years I was dysfunctional due to my traumas, as they manifested themself into addictive & detrimental behaviors that evolved as my way to survive and feel less pain.

Over the last few years, ive learned how to deal with these traumas through being with them and allowing them to be felt andpass, AND changing the evolved behaviors into more productive behaviors that will truly help me.

Not all of us are so lucky. A really close of friend of mine died to suicide a few weeks ago as his pain got the better of him.

The homeless people and drug users that we see on the street, are examples of people that have so much pain, that the behaviors are so radical as a way to survive.

Recently I watched an incredible film (im attaching the link) which showed these homeless people as they were BEFORE they became how they live today.

I was always afraid of the these homeless and drug users, and when they approached me on the street I would look the other way.

BUT recently, ive had a small mental shift, and ive started to IMAGINE these people as they were before they got to this point in their lives. Maybe they worked in high tech, maybe they did handstands, maybe they did _______.

I invite you to watch the clip in the link below, and also start to be open to see these humans in a different light.

Feedback

Flyers are pretty much our biggest feedback as bases to know when we are doing things good or less good 🫁

As bases we need this feedback in order to improve if we want to become the best🦿

Ego is something that can easily get in our way, and it’s constant work to put our ego aside and listen to flyers🫀

I really appreciate all the flyers that helped me get to the place I am today through their feedback and communication👦

Meital was one of the partners I had in the past that taught me TONS of what I know today! So thanks for everything 🙏🏽

Slow and Steady

I’ve been studying and practicing a concept called non-violent communication. Learning to communicate by seeing and referencing each other’s needs. I’ve been learning to apply it to my teaching, to my relationships, and, most importantly, to how I “speak to myself” in my own head 😌

As i’m learning Thai Massage in a course here in Tel Aviv, one of the concepts that keep coming up is that when we are going into or stretching a muscle, we do it slow. We listen to the body and see how it reacts. Then we can go in deeper. This also shows the other person that we are listening to their bodies needs. The same applies when we speak to people. Instead of saying (and thinking) “go clean your room”, we can choose to communicate are needs “it’s important to me that your room is clean, is that something you can do for me” or the others needs “It may benefit you to clean up ur room, then maybe the it’ll be easier to find your books” 🙏🏽

Lots of deep feelings and memories have been coming from up from childhood and this has been a challenging and rewarding process. When a voice in my head says “go do the dishes already!”, i try to reframe it as “it would be nice to have the dishes done as it will encourage you to cook more”. It’s also important for me to understand the voices are not ME, they are MY STORY 📕

Acro and touch both have the same concept: No matter what I’m doing, its important that I take into account both mine and my partners needs. My needs are important, and I will continue to make sure they are met. My partners needs are important and I will do my best to make sure they are met.There is no such things are compromising on my needs, only choosing to allow a “a more important” need to be met.

SELF TALK IN ACROYOGA 🎤

My happiness is very much defined not by others, but how I see the world within my thinking patterns 🎱

Let me give you an example:

After one of my classes, one of my students comes over to me and says “you know, your classes are not my favorite because they are too easy for me”

Now I can interpret this in at least 3 ways:

I’m not a very good teacher – and experience shame

This person is a rude and is not communicating well – and experience anger

Or this person HAS A NEED that WASN’t MET – and experience compassion towards this person

As Marshal Rosenberg says “we were born as people, not CHAIRS”. People have needs. In fact, ALL PEOPLE HAVE NEEDS. And taking care of our needs is our first responsibility in order to be a happy functioning individual. And our needs are not a reason for shame, but the beauty of what makes us a human being 🥋

🎯In acroyoga, this can be applied as well….

In the beginning, when I was training intensely, I would be very HARD on myself. When I wouldn’t perform as I would like, I would tell myself thoughts that I’m not good enough, or the skills are not done well. The focus on the outcome was a source of pain for me. It would make me feel stress, shame, and other not such fun feelings.

Over the last year or so, i’ve made steps towards reframing those thoughts as needs:

“I have a need for the skill to be done in a way that uses good technique including as little steps as possible, and tempo over strength”

My focus shifts towards taking care of myself, instead of judging myself. And this reframing motivates and empowers me by showing compassion towards my important needs, instead of using harsh judgement towards my actions.

I’m curious to know how you speak to yourself in acro. I’d love to hear in the comments how an acro training looks like in your head…Thanks for reading!! 📕

A race to become the best

Looking back to my acro journey it’s been quite an adventure. What started as a fun, dynamic, 2 person sport has shifted greatly 😌

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In the beginning I was in a race to become the best, to conquer the highest level skills I can, to make acro my life.

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And then, with time, I started to value other things even more. Healthy touch, connection, clean non violent communication, overcoming fears.

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This has also shifted my focus in how I teach in my classes and workshops.

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If I can go back and talk to the beginner Joe, I would tell him to keep following his heart. Play and do what feels right and what he can connect too. Choose the people to be around that allow his heart to stay open.

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As I tell my students, I am just sharing with you my journey and technique. I recommend you take this all and make it your journey. Be curious. Change things around. Explore. Don’t let any teacher take away your power. Your acro practice is your acro practice.

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Along my journey (and still today) I have many challenges.

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Often in acro, I begin receiving messages from my body that it’s not comfortable and doesn’t want to be doing what I’m doing. And if I didn’t listen to the noises it would get louder and louder. I’ve learned over the years to listen to this earlier and take care of my physical and emotional needs ⛑

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It also took my time learning to communicate in a healthy way. Asking for what I need in acro and what the other needs. Instead of blaming or telling the other what they are doing wrong.

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For me acro is not just a sport, but a life journey. And many of the lessons I’ve gotten to practice and learn in acro are now a big part of the way I live overall.

I’d like you to meet Joe…

Sometimes I experience shame moments but other times I feel important and full. Sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes I’m genuinely happy. Other times I’m not sure what I feel. Sometimes my heart is closed and I don’t want to see or be seen. Other times I experience open-heartedness and feel love for people around me.

Sometimes (even often) I feel afraid. Afraid of cold water. Afraid of bees. Afraid I might cross other’s boundaries. Other times I’m super courageous. I say things super vulnerable. I make risky decisions to improve the quality of my life. Sometimes I just waste a lot of time on my phone. Other times I choose my time wisely and invest it in things important to me. Often I care about what others think. Sometimes I can let go of that and do what the inner Joe wants.

Sometimes I deeply desire to be held. To be touched. Sometimes I want to touch others. Sometimes I feel lost in this world, without a sense of purpose. Other times I feel powerful and embodied and feel my purpose. Sometimes I cannot stand to be dirty. Other times I’m ok with being a slob. I really don’t like to carry things in my hand when walking. I cant stand to be sticky. Sometimes I don’t drink enough water or eat food my body wants. Other times I feed my body with intention. Sometimes I teach in a way I feel proud of.. Other times I leave my classes feeling sad the way I taught.

Sometimes I fart even when I’m in public. Other times I hold it in. Often I pick my nose in bed, especially if I’m stressed. Other times…. I still pick my nose 😂

What’s my point here? I want to relay a message that we are all trying to find a way to have a good quality life. And we’re all dealing with so many things going on at the same time. And the fact that someone can throw a martini, or do a handstand doesn’t change that.

If you’re gonna follow my acroyoga journey, your stuck following my life journey as well 😃 sorry Charlie

And here’s a call out to other influencers/Instagramers to share a bit more about you, the inside, with the feelings, and ups and downs, so we can get to know you. So we can experience what it’s like to follow a COMPLETE HUMAN BEING ❤️

Appreciation

How I (try to) give and receive appreciation?! 🙏

When I RECEIVE appreciation, I can take into my heart the reality that I can make other people’s lives more joyful and complete. So I want to know how made your life better.

So when I GIVE appreciation, I try to do the same. I try to make clear what needs of mine were met. How that made me feel. In response to the action or words of the other person.

Let me give you an example:

->Student: you are a fantastic teacher

->Teacher: I’d like to hear how I’ve made your life more wonderful. Can you explain specifically what you experienced?

->Student: sure. I felt a bit afraid to join your class as the level was high. But you created a friendly safe environment and I left the class the class feeling confident and happy.

->Teacher: thanks for sharing that. Now I feel happy that I made you experience better.

If I merely express what I think about the other person, I’m not letting them know how my life was made more wonderful. Also, as humans, we generally care what others think. And I don’t want to feed into that system. I don’t want people around me to seek compliments from me. (I’ll try and explain this more in a later post)

I grew up in a world of good/bad, right/wrong/, strong/weak, and the list goes on forever, and it’s quite hard for me to change these patterns of speech and perception 🌍

Judgements, whether positive or negative, don’t necessarily show human connection

Wait a second Joe, what do you mean by “human connection”⁉️

So human connection for me is when 2 people share their authentic version of themselves – what they are experiencing inside – with each other ❤️

People’s Words

Let’s face a fact of the world: people have a lot to say, and people’s words can cause us emotional pain.

As we may not want to feel this pain, we may take certain actions (or inactions) to protect ourselves.

Approach 1: Fight or Flight.

FIGHT

Examples of this:

-Share only less personal/sensitive things

-Choose carefully who you connect with/let into your life

-Listen more carelessly to the people we talk with, or talk more just about oneself

FLIGHT

-We can constantly try and prove we are _____ to ourselves or others (fight)

Approach 2: Transform- We can create a mind-machine that transforms no matter anyone says into life

This machine I called NVC (non-violent communication by the master Marshal Rosenberg).

Let’s talk about money

I am creating a shift within myself as we speak, and the intent is to try and only collect “clean money” from people.

What do I mean by “clean money” 💰? Hang on for the ride and ill explain.

Do you ever experience awkwardness receiving or paying money? Do you ever wonder where that comes from?

I believe it comes from the intent of what’s living inside each person. If the intent is unknown, or one party doesn’t fully want to give or receive the money – it’s not comfortable.

Imagine living in a world where every time you RECEIVE money you know the other person is happy to support you to allow you to keep providing your service to the world

Imagine living in a world where each time you provided a service, you did not “charge” or “demand” money but rather requested money that you would like to have for your service.

Imagine living in a world where each time you GIVE money you give it from a place of heart, of excitement for the opportunity to support this business or person to keep sharing its service or falafels to the world

I offer a service and I want people to feel from a place inside that they want to support me to keep providing this service for the world.

To give me money from a place of “YES!! I am happy to support Joe, and happy with the work he does” – THIS IS CLEAN MONEY.

I grew up in a family where both my parents grew up with Holacaust Survivor parents (my grandparents), and we had stress surrounding the topic of money. Even though my parents fulfilled my needs for food, clothes and shelter – there was a fear that maybe one day there wont be enough money.

So this new perspective helps me to shift my focus when giving money from the stress to the excitement. Also, I feel that if I live this way, the world will ultimately take care of me

Pictures from the delightful time I had when @uvfeldman was in town! Still waiting for her to come visit again (cough cough 😅). Picture by @offeriko – a photographer I really love! Swipe right for more pics.

Picture to use: https://1drv.ms/u/s!AhL-CotUaoKK4Tm0L46jVN963Hbu

Upside Down

Upside down…. 👓

I can choose to put on a pair of glasses to see the world differently. Instead of seeing people as “good or bad”, I can choose to see people the same as me, trying get the same needs we have met but using different strategies.

Sometimes I don’t know know what needs I have. What do I need right now.

Me, like everyone, am trying to get my needs met in the best way i know. The only difference between me and others is the STRATEGY we use to get our needs met.

For example, this person may get a fancy car to get his need for meaning met (whether it works or not is something else), while another person will choose to meet the same need but through helping others.

Can you see the difference between your needs and strategies?

Comment below 👇🏽 Needs vs Strategy