Acro by Joe

Presence

“Your presence is the most precious gift you can offer to another human being”

-Marshall B Rosenberg

Let’s discuss this:

Q#1, Why is “presence” the most precious gift”?

Q#2. What does it mean to be “present”?

Q#3. What are ways to become more “present”?

Q#1: Why is our “presence” the most precious gift we can offer?

A: Our pure presence has healing powers. When someone is experiencing happy or sad emotions and you are there with them, that is healing. This also allows the other person to be able to reflect and work through what they are experiencing. Our pure presence allows intimacy to occur; the sensation of both of us allowing ourselves to be seen to another – together.

It’s important to not mistake EMPATHY with SYMPATHY. As soon as we tell the other person :how sad we feel that they feel this way”, we turn the camera lens onto ourselves. Which can be helpful too! BUT is most helpful only once we’ve finished giving the person the EMPATHY they need.

Open Your Heart

I surround myself with people that are open for deep connection, connect to movement, and long for growth in how we can transform ourselves and the world around us to a more loving, connected place 🥰
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This past weekend i participated in an EVENT called the EXPERIMENT where a bunch of us ARTISTS got together and tested our NEWEST ideas on each other for FEEDBACK in our journey 🧚🏼‍♀️
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Firstly, just being around people that are so full of love, openness, desire to connect deeply, deeply passionate about their journey – was inspiring for me! I left on a BIG HIGH, a really big high, that is still passing through me. And also the amount of inspiration I received for my own projects of combining acro and non violent communication together.
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This very much reminded me of my experience at the MIDBURN (Burning Man in the Isreal Desert), the people I was around I went so much love and openness towards, and we created this beautiful work together led by @dvirrozen

Picture to use: https://www.instagram.com/p/CaNk-Qmr0-d/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Non-Violent Communication

People who come to learn acro yoga are often trying to get some of the following needs met:

need for TOUCH
need for PHYSICAL movement (workout)
need for “WORKING TOGETHER” (yes!! This is a core need of ours)
need for CONNECTION (being seen, seeing others)
need for COMMUNITY (to feel part of something bigger)
need for MENTAL challenge (mental stimulation, to understand/analyze skills)
need for RECREATION (fun, games, even thrill)

Please share with me in the comments which needs are met for you in acro, and if there are others not listed here!!

I’m looking forward to read the comments below….

Boundaries in Acroyoga

Sometimes we simply do not want to play with someone!

Our body is just like….nope, this doesn’t feel right.

Bases, Flyers, Spotters – we have all felt this!

How do we put up our boundary and say no? What happens if the other person gets hurt from what we say?

Im gonna share my opinions here.

I’m completely open to hear what other people think as well!!! So please feel free to share in the comments below/ or in private!!

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I think there are 3 parts to this:

1. Expressing our boundaries about our ownself, our needs
2. Asking questions/Giving space to listen if the other feels hurt from our boundary
3. Us listening to people expressing their boundaries and learning to not take it personally but rather see the other person taking care of their needs

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1. Expressing our boundaries:

I believe the cleanest way to express our boundary is to share what’s inside of us, AND NOT WHAT WE THINK OF THE OTHER PERSON.

For example –

“I dont think my body is strong enough or experienced enough to this skill with you”

“i dont feel right now that i want to play with you, maybe we can play later”

(AND TRY NOT TO SAY: “you are too heavy” or “your level is not high enough” or etc.)

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There are many reasons why we may not want to do a certain skill or acro with someone – and all the reasons we feel are legit!!!!!

Examples:

-Emotional safety – acro is intimate and i dont feel comfortable being this close to this person

-Emotional safety – i dont feel safe around this person due to how they communicate to me

-Physical safety – i feel afraid that i might get injured with this person (or injure them) so i want to play with them only with spotting

-Physical safety – i feel that i am not strong/experienced enough to base this weight/experience and im afraid to hurt my body

-Discomfort – i dont feel nice around this person hygiene so i dont want to play with them

And there are many more legit reasons!!!

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BUT JOE – What happens if the other gets hurt?! Gets offended? Feels bad about herself in response to my comment?

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How was translate what the other person is telling us:

Let’s take a look at it from the LISTENING SIDE of the story.

EXAMPLE

I say to my flyer – “ i dont feel im strong/skilled enough to this skill with you”

3 ways the flyer can TRANSLATE what i’m saying:

“Joe feels the need to take care of his body” (and feel happy with the comment)

“Joes says that im too heavy/big, i can never be a flyer” (and feel sad about herself)

“Joe says i’m too heavy/big, he’s such a ASSHOLE” (and feel angry towards Joe)

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2. Asking questions/Giving space to listen if the other feels hurt from our boundary

BONUS: So after expressing my boundary – i can ask the person what they heard, or they feel from what i said. And if they translate my boundary into a painful way, i can give them space, or give them a hug, or whatever they might need at the moment (as long as I have that space to give)

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3. How I translate what other is REALLY SAYING is key to how I will feel.

I remember there being a flyer that would never want to play with me standing acro. And then sometimes would ask me to do pops. And i would switch from feeling hurt, to feeling angry towards her.

And I worked really hard to translate her “NO” to an expression of a need of hers. Maybe she doesnt feel emotionally safe around me. Or feels discomfort in my energy and she is just protecting her emotional needs as I would do the same? It wasnt easy for and lasted for a few months.

For me the lesson was: I want to learn to communicate in the way that will be easiest for others to understand my needs here.

And also, there are many people that WONT communicate in the way i wanna hear! And my happiness is in MY HANDS, in MY ABILITY to translate what they are saying.

For example, even if someone comes over to me and says “Joe, you too heavy for me” – i can still learn to translate that the other person is saying to me “i feel the need to protect my body and im afraid your weight will hurt me”

This is NOT EASY and i know i’ve touched on a sensitive topic!!

I’m assuming most of us are here to grow as people, to learn to communicate in more effective ways, in both our speaking and listening skills.

The acroyoga platform is an incredible platform to practice these skills and then bring this to ALL OUR RELATIONSHIPS!

Anyone who wants to talk with me about this personally – feel free to send me a message in private: acrobyjoe@gmail.com or on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/acrobyjoe/?hl=en

P.s. Most of my examples were based on saying no to flyers but it goes both ways!!!!

How I broke my hand? 🪵

We were doing Pitching to Reverse Foot2Hand, and it was the first time I was doing it with this particular flyer (it wasn’t Orin) and we were using spotting. Eventually, as it was working well, I suggested we do without spotting🦒

The flyer expressed her fear, she was afraid “her body” would do something OFF because of the fear and make a mistake💃

So we asked the spotter to stand a bit further away but still spot. We repeated the skill again successfully. Again, I said, we dont need spotting anymore, either way even if you make a mistake – ill catch you 🕺🏼

We agreed that the spotter would stand a lot farther away this time.

We did the skill and the flyer began the skill then immediately regretted it, didn’t straighten her knees and didn’t come on top of my hand, which caused my push to send her forward. So I reached to catch her and put her down. On the catch her knee pushed my right pinky finger down and away causing a break on the PALM of my hand. Metacarpal 5.🤚🏿

We both immediately understood our lessons🎯

My lesson was to find a better line between “pushing” vs “encouraging”. And for her, to be more assertive and say no if she doesn’t feel comfortable 🎳

I also accept this as part of the sport. A small silly accident that will pass. Im enjoying the time off and im happy to get to spend this time with myself. I also think this is a good “break” for my body, finally getting some time off (:

Presence

Open Your Heart

Non-Violent Communication

Boundaries in Acroyoga

How I broke my hand? 🪵

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