How I (try to) give and receive appreciation?! ๐
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When I RECEIVE appreciation, I can take into my heart the reality that I can make other people's lives more joyful and complete. So I want to know how made your life better.
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So when I GIVE appreciation, I try to do the same. I try to make clear what needs of mine were met. How that made me feel. In response to the action or words of the other person.
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Let me give you an example:
->Student: you are a fantastic teacher
->Teacher: I'd like to hear how I've made your life more wonderful. Can you explain specifically what you experienced?
->Student: sure. I felt a bit afraid to join your class as the level was high. But you created a friendly safe environment and I left the class the class feeling confident and happy.
->Teacher: thanks for sharing that. Now I feel happy that I made you experience better.
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If I merely express what I think about the other person, I'm not letting them know how my life was made more wonderful. Also, as humans, we generally care what others think. And I don't want to feed into that system. I don't want people around me to seek compliments from me. (I'll try and explain this more in a later post)
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I grew up in a world of good/bad, right/wrong/, strong/weak, and the list goes on forever, and it's quite hard for me to change these patterns of speech and perception ๐
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Judgements, whether positive or negative, don't necessarily show human connection
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Wait a second Joe, what do you mean by โhuman connectionโโ๏ธ
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So human connection for me is when 2 people share their authentic version of themselves โ what they are experiencing inside โ with each other โค๏ธ